Octopi, and others...

Nothing says "Detroit hockey" like an octopus tossed out on the ice. This practice is not limited to home games, where the occurrence of dead cephalopods getting thrown onto the playing surface. Al Sobotka used to twirl them vigorously in the air has he would clean them off his ice, but the NHL issued a waring that the Wings would be fined $10,000 if he did that again, as bits of octopi were freezing to the ice and getting on opposing goaltenders. I submit that Al would NEVER intentionally get dead octopus guts on an opposing goaltender. Yeah, right. I bet that Al would, given the opportunity, shove said octopus down the opposing goaltenders pants. On purpose. Because Al is all about the Red Wings. Note: The included picture is most assuredly NOT Al Sobotka.

Other teams have tried to emulate this tradition, but none have even come close, and some are just downright disgusting. Like the dead duck thrown on the ice in the Shark Tank the other night. I mean, thats just not right. Further, how do you smuggle a dead waterfowl into the arena in the first place? You can't bring coolers, big bags, or anything of the sort. Hell, you cant even smuggle in a camera with a lens longer than 55mm into the arena, so how do you get a 6 pound deceased waterfowl in?

The shark with the octopus in its mouth, also in the shark tank, was by far the biggest mess. Since San Jose fans are rank amateurs at tossing things onto the ice, they neglected to perform a few simple tasks prior to the toss. First, you need to boil the octopus. This prevents it from becoming something slightly less dense than warm jello at room temperature. Likewise, it keeps the players from having to skate through semi-frozen octopus slime for the rest of the game.

Way back in 1988, a fan threw a LIVE chicken wearing a blue cape onto the ice during a game. The chicken survived the toss, and stood motionless in abject terror while the players skated around it, continuing the game until the referee saw that the chicken had shit on the ice in fear and whistled the play dead.

Also a few nights ago, a dead catfish hit the ice in Nashville. Big deal. They have been doing that for a couple seasons now, and I imagine that its pretty hard to sneak fresh catfish past any security guard in the south. Nothing has the tradition of the octopus, and everyone knows it.

Do the refs have to be such sissies about it though? I mean, these guys put themselves in harms way, and have no problems getting between two guys the size of tanks who are trying to kill each other. Then somebody tosses a dead thing onto the ice and the ref suddenly becomes a squeamish little girl, and on occasion, calls the ACTUAL squeamish girls (ice girls) to clean up the mess. Again, in Nashville, this becomes a race to see which ice girl is going to have fresh catfish for dinner tonight.

Does anyone else hear banjos?

The Red Wings return home tonight to play the Blues, hoping to embark on another multi-game winning streak.

In other news, for Kenny, the Rangers are tops in the East.

Hockey and Ballet

This is the time of year when my daughter dances with her ballet company in a major production of the Nutcracker. This is also the time of year when the NHL is settling into the grind of the regular season. At first glance, one might think that there is no comparison between the two, but I am here to tell you that ballerinas are the hockey players of the dance world. Seriously.

You have recently seen Nik Kronwall get a puck in the face and return to the bench with a few stitches. Maybe you saw Val Filppula nearly crawling off the ice, seemingly mortally wounded, only to return the next game, with nothing amiss. These are professional hockey players, and this is expected. Now let me tell you some of the things I have heard and seen over the past few years while working behind the scenes at the Nutcracker.

From a 9 year old Butterfly: "My foot hurts"
Her Mom: "How bad? Can you walk?
Butterfly: "I don't think so, it really really hurts"
Mom: "Ok, I'll tell them you cant do it tomorrow"
Butterfly: "Oh I can dance, I just cant walk"

From the 18 year old Phoenix: "got any Motrin?"
Me: "Yep, need one?"
Phoenix: "Better give me three, I think I slipped a disc and I have to lift someone in an hour"

From my Daughter: "Look at this" (shows me a huge bruise on her knee)
Me: "Wow! Does that hurt?"
Daughter: "Yeah, it hurts...do you think the audience will see it through my tights?"

From a Ballerina with many parts to another Ballerina: "Was that your foot i heard pop?"
Other Ballerina: "Yeah, the doc thinks I might have fractured it"
First Ballerina: "Ouch, do you have an understudy?"
Other Ballerina: "Yeah, but she has another part. I'm just gonna tape it"

And the list goes on and on, and the surprises keep coming. There is one phrase that I have heard both on the hockey benches and in the ballet dressing rooms:

"Tape it, I'm going back in."

Oh, and the Red Wings destroyed the Jets, 7-1 on Saturday. I was at the ballet handing out ice packs...

Streaks. Realignment.

So if the Detroit Red Wings are the hottest team in the league, why does nearly all NHL news center around Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin? Ovechkin has 18 points (8G, 10A), and is a -6, while the alleged second coming of Gretzky has 11 points (2G, 9A) in his injury shortened season. To be fair, we will leave Cindy out of the equation. Would it surprise anyone to know that Valtteri Filppula is ahead of Ovechkin in scoring, and tied with Niklas Lidstrom for total points? That's right...a superstar forward is TIED with a defenseman in scoring. Of course, he is tied with the Perfect Human, but I don't hear anyone crowing on the NHL channel about how great Nik Lidstrom is, but I hear plenty about Ovechkin and how bad he is sucking this year.

Likewise, I hear a lot about Tim Thomas and Ryan Miller but what about Wings goalie Jimmy Howard? He's only the league leader in wins, and has a GAA of 1.83, which put him well ahead of "household" names such as Lunqvist, Thomas, Miller, and Luongo. He even plays without a helmet! (see picture) Of course the whistle was blown immediately, but he stood in and made the save on the shot that came just before the whistle blew (again, see picture).

Whatever. At the end of the season the talking heads will be speaking in amazed tones about how the Wings "slid in under the radar" and "quietly" did this or that, and "how did they do that without having a 50 goal scorer?" Hell with em. I guess the Wings will just continue to play in the shadows until we get another Steve Yzerman. Who, by the way, gets very little ink in his own right. Which is just the way he likes it.

Oh, and the Wings are on a league high 7 game streak, too.

So on to realignment. Here's my take: Bring back the old time divisions! Like this, only changed to reflect that there are now 30 teams:

Campbell Conference
Norris Division
Detroit
St. Louis
Chicago
Minnesota
Toronto
Winnipeg
Dallas
Edmonton

Smythe Division
San Jose
Phoenix
Calgary
Los Angeles
Vancouver
Colorado
Anaheim

Prince of Wales Conference
Patrick Division
Philadelphia
Washington
NY Islanders
NY Rangers
New Jersey
Pittsburgh
Carolina
Nashville

Adams Division
Montreal
Ottawa
Buffalo
Boston
Florida
Tampa Bay
Columbus



Just do it. Don't think about it. The original reason that the NHL changed all this was to "attract casual viewers" and to "simplify" the league. Well, I'm here to tell you that hockey fans are not idiots. If I could keep track of the divisions as a 9 year old, I am sure that fans wouldn't have a problem today. Look, everyone that was in a division is still there (for example, the Wings were in the Norris, and still will be), and there are 4 divisions, just like the NHL is proposing now. Everyone gets a home and home, and the top eight from each conference still go to the playoffs. Travel is equalized by the "every team plays the other at least twice" theory. AND, as an extra added bonus, new fans will actually know WHY the Clarence Campbell trophy and the Prince of Wales trophy were given those names. The league is strong on tradition, so why not? As I said before, just do it.

Don't think about it.

C'mon Gary......you KNOW you want to....

Up, then down, now up

Did you know that the Red Wings are the first team in NHL history to start with a 5 game win streak and then follow it with a losing streak of longer than 5 games? No big deal, the last time the Wings had a long winless streak was in 2008. Before that it was 2002. See where I'm going with this?

You don't? Well then you better Google that shit, because I am not saying it here and then getting the blame for jinxing it all.

Anyways....so the Wings play in a slightly hyped game against the LAST TWO UNDEFEATED TEAMS IN THE NHL...and get worked. It wasn't even funny. It was like a train wreck. I wanted to turn it off, but I just couldn't. I had to see how bad it would be. Then Columbus, good lord...I suppose they had to win sometime, right? I mean, a team can't go 0-82, can they? Then the Sharks, Wild, Wild, and Flames. Outscored 22-6 in a horrifying skid that looked like it would never end.

It was so bad that even my son, who seems to live for nothing other than to see his hero, Niklas Lidstrom play hockey, didn't want to watch. I said, "Hey the Wings game is on", he says, without looking up from whatever he is doing: "Big deal". Yeah, it was that bad.

BUT. Now the Wings are on the up, dropping the Ducks, Avalanche, Oilers, and Stars scoring 18 goals in that time. So what the hell? Are we to put up with this sort of torture all season? I certainly hope not. Oh, and now we lost Ian White to a broken face.

Now the Wings start a 4 game travel period, and one can hope that the absence of White will not hamper the Red Wings. Brendan Smith is called up to serve the last game of his suspension, and perhaps he will play in the other three games. Could be a good time for him to make an impression on Coach Babcock.

Or not. As a fan of Brendan, I am hoping he lives up to his potential.

A good start...

So after a long summer, hockey is back in Hockeytown. Finally. The season did not kick off with a puck dropping, rather a memorial for Brad McCrimmon, Ruslan Salei, and Stefan Liv, all of whom were killed in a tragic plane crash that took the lives of the entire Russian Kontinental Hockey League (KHL) team Lokomotiv Yaroslavl. (Hence the black band across the Lokomotiv logo. The Red Wings wives lined the ice in front of the bench, and McCrimmon's family walked on the red carpet out the center ice, to be met by Niklas Lidstrom and Pavel Datsyuk. They presented Brad's kids with a #2Red Wings sweater each, and there was the obligatory moment of silence, during which there was not a dry eye in Joe Louis Arena, and possibly not even in the Greater Detroit and Windsor areas.

In the game, the Wings beat the Senators 5-3 on goals from Bertuzzi, Hudler, White, Emmerton, and Lidstrom. It was a good first game to watch, because the pressure is on for the home opener, and nobody wants to watch the home team get beat in the very first game back for a new season.

Some interesting things: During the 2nd intermission interview with Mike Babcock, he referred to "Helm's Line". Considering that this line consists of Abdelkader, Bertuzzi, White and Lidstrom, that's a hell of a compliment. Actually, if Darren Helm actually hears this sound byte, he may faint.

In any case, the Wings looked strong for the latter half of the 1st period and all through the 2nd, building a 4-0 lead. In the 3rd, however, I guess they decided that 4 goals was enough, and started giving up the puck. They were really bad in the first half of the 3rd, allowing three goals and scoring one. They still won, but they are going to have to put 60 solid minutes together consistently to have another shot at the Cup. Playing 45 minutes per game isn't going to cut it, as Coach Babcock no doubt let the team know in the locker room after the game.

I have friends in the Navy across the pond in places that you wouldn't even think of going, and while they are gone, I will be reporting their teams scores in this blog. Yeah, I KNOW its a Red Wings blog, but like I said, they are doing things that would make your nuts retract, so get over it. Soon.

For Kenny Jenzen, I am sorry to report that the New York Rangers lost in overtime 3-2 to the Los Angeles Kings. Henrik Lundqvist was the starting goaltender, and to say that he was playing for the home crowd is an understatement, since the game was in Sweden, and the sellout crowd was on their feet when he was announced. However, the Rangers had a few miscues in their own zone, which led to several scoring chances for the Kings. It was a tight game for the most part, with both teams showing some solid hockey, and the Rangers led 2-1 in the 3rd when the Kings tied it. Overtime looked like standard OT hockey, but then Ryan McDonagh had to sit for two minutes on a hooking call, and the Kings quickly capitalized as Jack Johnson tapped in a pass for the winner.

Garrett, I do not know who you are rooting for, but since you are from Georgia, I will assume that you are cheering for the Winnipeg Jets. They play tomorrow.

Johnny Long, I know you are not on deployment, but let me take this opportunity to laugh at you for ignoring my invitation to come watch the Dallas Stars play the Chicago Blackhawks, and the Stars won, due largely in part to their goalie, Kari Lehtonen, who made 38 saves on 39 shots and basically put on a personal highlight reel in the 59 minutes he was on the ice. Sucks to be you, that was the best game of the night. Maybe next time you wont dis your only friend that you don't have to pay. And no, staying home to view still photos on Nancy Grace's nip slip do not trump hockey. Ever.

Yaroslav Lokomotiv

If you were to try to remember the last time a sports team suffered a catastrophic tragedy, the 1970 Marshall football team pops immediately into your head. Everyone was killed in a plane crash, except the players that were not scheduled to play in the game. Very recently, it happened again. Nearly the entire Jaroslav Lokomotiv hockey team was killed when their Yakovlev-42 passenger plane crashed shortly after takeoff. The flight engineer and one player, Alexander Golimov, were the only survivors. Both, obviously, are in extremely critical condition.

This disaster, unfortunately, has claimed the lives of three Detroit Red Wings. Former defenseman Ruslan Salei, coach and past player Brad McCrimmon, and Red Wings goaltender prospect Stephan Liv. As if that weren't bad enough, the hockey world also lost Pavol Demetra, Alexander Karpotsev, Igor Korolev, and Karlis Skrastins. It should be noted that there are, at this time, conflicting reports about Ruslan Salei. However, it is being reported in Russia that he is among the deceased.

The town of Yaroslavl has been shaken to its foundations. Hell, the WORLD is in shock. There were moments of silence all over the world. In Russia, the only game that was being played has been canceled. In
Czechoslovakia, a huge (and growing)
memorial to the three Czech players killed
has been erected. And in 43 household
across the globe, there is now a missing
dad, brother, uncle or son.

As if the hockey world needed more trial
and tribulation following the deaths of Derek
Boogaard, Rick Rypien, and Wade Belak.

And that's all I have to say about that...

Why not just stick with HOCKEYTOWN?

I don't feel good. In fact, I skipped dinner because there were roughly even odds that I wouldn't be keeping it down. Even so, I may still lose whats left of my lunch.

To be clear, I was just fine up to a few hours ago, and now I just want to go to bed and stare at the darkness. The Detroit Red Wings, MY Red Wings, YOUR Red Wings....have...have...well just look at the picture. I feel soiled posting it, but you all must know that this is just sick.

Now I am not saying that the Wings sold out, like many others, MY big issue is that the Winged Wheel, wherever it is displayed, will look like this picture. How many other hockey teams have this? I'm pretty sure it is zero. Look, I couldn't give a flying f*ck at a rolling donut about who sponsors whom, but do we really need to put a corporate logo on the Wings logo. I mean, the posters with Krogers on them were bad enough. Now we all get to look at this shit everywhere the Winged Wheel is posted, which is nearly everywhere in Detroit.

Why? Why can't we just stick with the HOCKEYTOWN logo? Or is that the next thing to be sullied with the Amway crest? What next? Maybe a little Amway logo on the helmet? Amway Arena? Rookies have to sell Amway? This crap is out of control. Whoever is responsible for talking Mike Illitch into this should be smothered in brown gravy and bacon fat and slowly lowered into a pit of hungry wolverines. Word has it that it was Tom Wilson, president of Olympia Entertainment.

When I think about the Red Wings, I feel good. They are the best hockey team in the NHL over the past two decades, and nobody hesitates to claim to be a die-hard fan. There are no closet Wings fans (except maybe in Colorado), and no matter where the Red Wings go, you can spot more than a few Winged Wheels in the stands. When I think of Amway, well...read above. This sponsorship isn't going to change who I am as a fan, but if you think about it, does Amway really have to put their company logo all over the place? What purpose does this serve? There isn't a single person that hasn't heard of Amway, and most will get a look on their face like they just swallowed a bug when you mention them.

I think the fans will take care of this themselves. How much you want to be that every instance of the "new" logo will have the "presented by Amway" part of it "corrected" by the fans? Spray paint, Sharpie, stickers, it wont matter. The fans that are forced to be exposed to this will react accordingly, and strongly. The downside to this is that there will be a rise in graffiti in Detroit, if that is even possible.

Red Wings, be sponsored by whoever you want, just leave the Winged Wheel alone.

48 Days....

There are 48 days to go until the Red Wings drop the puck for the new season. There are some new additions for me to give my almost totally uneducated opinion about this year! So lets begin, shall we? I mean, until you get bored and switch back to what you were doing before this, which was probably surfing porn. Bear in mind that the Wings roster is constantly changing as you read this....

Cory Emmerton - Personally, I didn't really expect to see this name on the roster, as he seems to be headed for third or fourth line status. I don't really see him breaking into the second line with the talent that the Wings have on offense. However, with the spaces opened up, they had to be filled somehow. Now, don't think that I am bagging on Cory, he is a solid performer with the Griffins, with 35 and 37 points in his last two seasons with the Wings farm team, and that 37 point season tied him for 6th on the team in scoring. Interestingly, he led the team in unassisted goals, with 3. The reason he stays on the fourth line is the aforementioned level of talent playing ahead of him.

Jan Mursak - Now here is a forward with a lot of potential. He has already played with the senior club, and you can add him to the list of skaters on the Red Wings that are faster than a greased cheetah. He's small, but maybe that cuts down on wind resistance or something, because he is smoking fast. Like Darren Helm fast. He was 2nd on the Griffins in goals scored and plus/minus, and tied for 3rd in points. He was solid when called up, and despite being small (if you call 5' 11" and 195lbs "small"), he has a little of a Pat Verbeek-style mean streak in him, as he has been know to drop the gloves on occasion. I see Mursak as a future fan favorite, and a possibly top 6 forward in the near future.

Gustav Nyquist - OK, so this guy led the nation in college hockey in scoring. Except that was in college. I don't see his name staying on the roster, as the Red Wings like to season players for a while in Grand Rapids.

Mike Commodore - Besides the problems that he seems to have with pretty much any coach he has played for, Mike will be looking to prove something this year. He adds size and a stay at home style of defensive play that can help the Wings. He doesn't score a heap of goals, but he is big and mean and the other teams don't like him. Of course, this isn't just reputation, Commodore really IS an asshole, and he is guaranteed to get under the other teams skin. The Wings could have done MUCH worse for a cool million.

Ian White - Out of his 9 seasons in the NHL, he has had only TWO that were on the "minus" side of the plus/minus scale. This bodes well for the Red Wings, as does White's defensive style, which is stay at home and clear the front of the net. The other thing that the Wings needed was a few right handed shots, which White is. And so is Commodore, so now they have exactly.....two. Awesome.

Ty Conklin - OK, so he's not exactly new, but hes back. Excellent choice for backing up Howie.

OK, so there's the roster as it stands. Now for some of my own choices:

Tomas Tatar - I would like to see him replace Nyquist on the roster, however, I don't see it happening, because he has only had one partial year in the Griffins organization. He is a fantastic shooter (left-handed, of course), and has what seems to be a great nose for the net. He has played for the Wings in the past in single game situations, and scored his first NHL goal in his first NHL game. I think it was against the Islanders, but still. So look for him to have a banner year with the Griffins this year, and to fill in for injuries.

Brendan Smith - You can NOT be disappointed with Brendan Smith. I really do see him becoming a Red Wing, and I really thought it would be this year. But when I saw that the Wings signed Commodore, I knew that Brendan's chances were growing slim. When they signed White the next day, they all but evaporated. Personally I think the Wings could give the guy a shot, but, at risk of repeating myself, the Wings will let prospects simmer for a good long time before calling them up for a more permanent role (Jimmy Howard anyone?). I really feel for the kid, but he has a VERY bright future if he keeps his head up. He should see some time with the Wings this year.

SHORTS: On Dec 10 2011 the Winnipeg Jets return to the Joe to play the Wings for the first time in the 21st century. There might be fanfare, and this game is a sure sellout. Oh wait, they are all sellouts. Better get em early then, if you still can. Brett Hull's sister moved in down the street from me this past year, so now my kids and his nephew are friends. Small world.

So now what the hell am I going to do with the next 47 days? It's a damn good thing that the salmon are biting up here or I would have to sit at home and scarf Cheetos while playing Black Ops all damn day. Not exactly healthy, but better than a honey-do list as long as my di- ... er...leg.

Here's to seeing you more and more until the season starts. Hockey season, that is, not salmon.

Brendan Smith...Now or Later?

So I haven't posted since the playoffs started. I was sick of blogging, so I took a break. It isn't like anyone noticed, since my three followers didn't even say anything...ANYWAYS....back to it, and they can read again when they are on the downside of too many shots of Jack.

The Red Wings need to start looking at defensemen. Now that Brian Rafalski is retired, Jonathan Ericsson is an unknown factor, Salei is being courted by the KHL, and the Captain is sitting on the fence (again), they really need to concentrate on shoring up the defense. Kronwall is staying, and he should get a crack at the top two with Nic (if he says), and with Brad Stuart if Nic retires.

Something that the Wings have been missing in the past years is a big defense. Brad Stuart is only just coming back into the hitting like he did in the "old days", and Kronwall cant do it all by himself. Looking inward, we see that Brendan Smith really has no ice time with the Red Wings, and its really no surprise considering the caliber of the defensemen that populated the Red Wings bench. Not that he is all that big at 6 foot 1 and 170 pounds, but his scoring presence on the blue line for the Griffins will probably make up for that.

Brendan Smith is a first round draft pick, a Hobey Baker award finalist, and has stood out in training camp and with the Griffins. Mike Babcock called him a potential "game changer" and Kenny Holland says that he will give Smith "every opportunity to become the next Nic Lidstrom". Now, I don't see any reason to put this much pressure on the kid, I mean, how do you fill the shoes of Lidstrom? Fact is, you don't. Nobody was expected to fill Stevie Y's shoes, because they were far too big. Lidstrom's shoes are just as big, and his number will be hanging alongside the other six in the rafters of the Joe before long. Let Smith come up, learn the Red Wings system, and then inject his skills and his own style of play into it.

The only drawback I see for Brendan is that he has only one year with the Griffins, which isn't really a drawback, but we all know that the Wings like to season their recruits in the AHL for a long time before bringing them up. Look how long Jimmy Howard was in the Griffins. He is now pretty much fantastic in net for the Wings, and looks to be there for a long time. Additionally, did anyone actually watch the Griffins last season? The defense wasn't just bad, it was a disaster. Now, this isn't all the fault of the players, since the parent club, suffering a spate of injuries, pulled up nearly everyone that was NHL ready, and some who were not.

In any case, the general consensus is that Brendan is ready. Everything I have read says so. I have not seen him play in the AHL, but I watched him when he played for Wisconsin, and I hated him until the Red Wings got him in the draft. Which means he was beating up on my Michigan teams. Which means he is pretty damn good. Lets just hope that if he is called up, the pressure to fill the shoes of a long time Red Wings defenseman isn't too much for him.

And The Crowd Goes Mild....

For the 20th time in recent memory, the Red Wings were booed off the ice by the 342 fans that decided that their Friday was already wasted and stayed for the final horn. Even the octopi throwing was half hearted, and really, who wants to drive home with a dead cephalopod in their pocket? If it was me, I would have thrown it in the first so I could get kicked out properly and go spend much, much less on beers.

So should Red Wings fans be preparing for an early exit from the playoffs? I say don't count them out yet. Here's why: Chicago had to win to remain in the playoffs. The Red Wings don't have to win to be seeded at least third in the West and home ice for at least the first round. Not that home ice is any advantage these days... Also, as a Red Wing player/coach/GM, who would you rather have Vancouver playing in round one? Calgary? Ummmm, no. Why not just throw a slightly above average High School JV squad in the 8 spot instead? Dallas? Nope. Vancouver will shred Dallas, even in Dallas, where visiting teams are forced to play on the crappiest ice in the NHL. Remember pond hockey in May, when you had to dodge the places where the ice was melted and grass was poking up? Yeah, that's American Airlines Center 24/7. Anyway, Dallas is a shell of their former selves, and wouldn't be able to catch the Canucks. You pick a team that is surging a little, has some seriously physical players, and can really beat up the Canucks physically, even if they lose the series. Then, can the Canucks continue without a few more key players? Malhotra is out already. What if one of the Sedin twins falls?

So you get Chicago to do it. Chicago, despite a slump that nearly cost them a playoff spot (and still might), has better numbers than both Dallas and Calgary, and are physical to boot. So, they can prolong a series against Vancouver, cause some bruises, and maybe, just maybe, pull out the upset. Whichever team survives that series is going to be pretty beat up, and the next series will be a bit tougher for them. The Wings will get LA or Anaheim. Not an easy skate by any means, but maybe a bit easier than a Central Division foe...

One thing is for sure. Wings fans are not going to be satisfied with a substandard playoff performance.

Original 6 Matchup, Joey Mac, Hudler

The Red Wings tend to do fairly well against their Original 6 counterparts. Especially this season, going 6-2-0 against Original 6 teams with three games to go, all against the Blackhawks. For those of you who forgot what the original 6 NHL teams were, they are Detroit Red Wings, New York Rangers, Chicago Blackhawks, Boston Bruins, Montreal Canadiens, and Toronto Maple Leafs. The Toronto Maple Leafs and the Red Wings go back a long way, and the Wings hold the edge in the series, 275-272-93-3. Yep there are 4 numbers there, because the NHL used to have ties. The proverbial sister-kisser. So from left to right, that would be Wins, Losses, Ties, and Overtime Losses from a Red Wings standpoint. It is amazing to me that over 643 games have been played, and it is still a virtual tie, despite the fact that the Maple Leafs have sucked out loud for so long.

So on to the game. Just 5 minutes into a fairly spirited first, Hank scores on the power play, which is followed by roughly 12 minutes of equally spirited play after which Joey Crabb ties it up. Let me say that Kenny Holland, despite the howls from fans who loved Bret Lebda, made the right choice. Lebda was just terrible in this game, and I cannot help but wonder if the Toronto GM isn't wondering if he can give him back to the Wings under the "Lemon Law".

In the second, a shot from Nik Kronwall is deflected in by Tomas Holmstrom, and referee Bill McCreary was a little slow in calling the goal. By that I mean from the view of the Red Wings fans. You could almost hear the crowd hesitate with the cheering a bit, as for the barest of seconds, the referee DIDN'T signal the goal. It was as if there was the old angel and devil on his shoulders:

Angel: "Oh, nice goal! Signal it."
Devil: "Fuck that, its Holmstrom, and he was close enough to the crease. Wave it off!"
Angel: "WHAT!?!? you gotta be kidding me, he was no where near the goalie!"
Devil: "So what? Let's give these Wings fans something to moan about. Wave it off"
Angel: "Call it a goal, William. It's the RIGHT CALL."
Devil: "You don't have a hair on your ass, McCreary, wave it."
Angel: "Hey you with the cute little tail, you wanna go?"

Then, while the Angel and Devil were pummeling each other, McCreary made up his mind and signaled a goal. I don't know if it was an extremely loud sigh of relief from the fans or a cheer, but it doesn't matter, its a goal. But the game was not to be without controversy. In the third period, Goeffrey Lupul actually knocked Howard over, laid on top of him, and swept the puck into the net. Everyone was waiting for the waveoff, but as you can see, "Lupul" is not spelled "H-O-L-M-S-T-R-O-M", and it was called a goal. A howl of despair rises from the crowd, and the Leafs fans cheer mightily. By the way, there were enough Leafs fans in the Joe to clog the Windsor tunnel. For real. The "Lets go Red Wings" chant was nearly equalized by a "Go Leafs Go" chant several times during the game. Anyway, the howls became louder as the crowd realized that there wasn't even going to be a replay, and Jimmah was HURT, for God's sake.

The Red Wings conspiracy theorists are warming up a press release as we speak.

Also in the third, Jiri Hudler, who isn't exactly having a banner year, broke the tie with a slapper from the top of the circle. Now, all you haters can kiss my ass, because Jiri has been clutch in the past few games. He isn't scoring tons of goals, but hes putting them in when it counts (mostly), so cut the guy some slack. And how about Joey MacDonald? OK, so he only had to fight off 9 shots, but DAMN he looked good doing it. Anyone else nervous about the playoff goalie situation? Well I am too, but the more I watch Joey Mac, the better I feel. I mean, when is the last time he let a goal in? Hes played in 13 games, and has a 2.05 GAA, and a .928 save percentage. Well I'll tell ya:

March 3rd against San Jose.

That was the last time he let a puck in the net. Since then, he has shut out Columbus (37 shots), blanked Pittsburg for 31 minutes (10 shots), and then denied the Leafs for 13 minutes (9 shots). He was key to the Pittsburg game, allowing the Wings to romp for 4 goals and gain a point. So for the past three games, his save percentage is actually 1.000. I can live with that. He has allowed 21 goals in 13 games. In contrast, Ozzie has allowed 29 goals in 11 games. Speaking of goalies, I bet Jordan Pearce gets a callup for a game after the Wings lock up the playoff spot or the Division, just to see what he can do.

Then Bertuzzi caps off an absolutely fantastic game with an empty netter, and everyone watching in my house cheer a little too loudly for the situation. Big deal, its almost playoff time. I am still looking for Mike Modano to really step it up. Hes got the experience, and if he does, look out if you are facing the Wings.

I personally like our chances.

5 is Right Out

Could there possibly be a little more bias against Tomas Holmstrom? I mean, if that was any other player, Nicklas Kronwall's goal would have counted. Except maybe Sean Avery, because, well, he's just a little dick. Pekka Rinne actually pushes Holmstrom out of the crease, and it was this action that allowed the puck to enter the net. Rinne wasn't paying attention, plain and simple. So, since they were touching, it's no goal? Even the ref knew it, and called incidental contact. Yeah, OK, because when the goalie pushes you its by accident AND its your fault, but only if your name is Tomas Holmstrom. Seriously, the Red Wings conspiracy theorists are warming up I can feel it.

I have also discovered why the Nashville Predators are the least penalized team in the NHL. The referees just don't call penalties against them. What about the late hit on Patrick Eaves by the Preds captain? Blindside hit! No call. What about the off the bench elbow on Justin Abdlekader? Didn't Matt Cooke just get suspended for that shit? No call. What about...ah never mind, bitching isn't going to help now. On a side note, during one stretch of about three uncalled and blatant penalties, I think Mickey Redmond actually went into vapor lock, because I didn't hear him for like 5 minutes. Or maybe he was off taking a piss and missed the whole thing. Takes a while for those old guys.

This is just the sort of thing I was talking about last game. The Wings can go out and beat Washington and Ovechkin, but when faced with the Predators of all teams, they just cant seem to bury it. Sure, they didn't have Pavel Datsyuk and Johan Franzen, but haven't they won a game or two without them before? Sure, Nashville needed the win to get into the playoffs, but who says the Wings want them there? They sure can seem to win a game, so if the Wings have to play the Preds in the playoffs, will it be an early exit? Say it ain't so!

The high point was the two octopi that hit the ice in the third. Nice touch. Then a Nashville fan responded by tossing a 4 foot stuffed catfish onto the ice. It would have been better if the hottie ice girl that skated out to pick up the catfish had to go and get the octopi. Bonus points if she threw up while picking up the slimy uncooked things, and then they send another ice girl out to shovel up the small side salad and diet water that she ate before the game.

Hopefully the Red Wings get all their shit in one sock prior to the playoffs, and stop letting htese bubble teams run over them.

The "Good Team" Effect

So I finally figure out why the Red Wings do well against top teams, then go out and get beat by Edmonton. Its the "Good Team" effect. Have you ever noticed that your golf game is better when you are playing against someone that is a great golfer? OK, so me neither, but I have heard that this is true. The Wings could care less about the bad teams, but when it comes to playing the likes of Washington, Pittsburgh, Philly, etc...they bring out the A game and win, and usually in regulation. I may be imagining things, but last night against the Capitals they looked like a great hockey team again. Passing, skating all right up there with goaltending. Darren Helm and Kris Draper were everywhere, to the point of my wife making the comment: "Damn is that Helm and Draper that are everywhere?"

This is why the Red Wings have a serious shot at the Cup again this year. All Detroit fans KNOW that last night, as well as they played, was not the best hockey that they can play. Even as they spent minutes at a time in the Capitals zone, even pulling off a defensive pair change once while in the Caps zone, fans know there is another hidden level. Just like a video game where if you complete the game it opens a new level? Yeah, that's the same thing.

Datsyuk and Zeterberg are peaking at just the right time, Modano is back, Rafalski is back(no pun intended Raffy), and Bertuzzi, Helm and even Draper are showing signs that they have a little more to give. I predict that Jiri Hudler and Johan Franzen open the floodgates in the playoffs, and light the lamp several times each. Add that to Lidstrom and Kronwall blasting away from the points to put the biscuit in the basket and you have a Stanley Cup contender.

So...since all the teams in the playoffs are good, the Wings should have no problems, right?

So yeah...8-6 since the last time

Anyways, I have been out of it for a while. Blogging was not appealing to me, even if it was about the Red Wings. But I'm back now, so don't give me any shit.

So I haven't posted since Feb 3? Wow, didn't know it was that long. In any case, since then the Wings are playing barely over .500 hockey. Maybe I was a little put off by the back to back shutouts the Wings suffered in early Feb. Maybe I was worried that there was going to be a repeat of the steady flow of ambulances from the Joe from last year. Or maybe, and most likely, I am just a spoiled rotten Red Wings fan who cant bear to see them lose 6 out of 14, when everyone else, like Islanders or Oilers fans, would be turning back handsprings in their front yards if their team pulled that off.

Whatever. I just watched the Anaheim game, and just about ended my TV's life over that absolutely terrible call to give the Ducks a penalty shot. Horrible. I can actually hear Mickey Redmond howling about it if I go outside, and I live in Washington. So who can we blame it on? I say everyone. Why? Because even if they lose half of their remaining games, the Wings will still be in the playoffs. Last 20 games? YAWN...wake me up when the playoff start. The camera in the locker room prior to the game actually showed a Red Wings player dozing in his stall. What kind of shit is that? Of course, he was probably meditating or concentrating really hard on the upcoming game, but it sure looked like a nap to me.

Heres what REALLY gets me. The Wings are a puck possession team, and they havent been doing that very well lately, except for Datsyuk, who wouldn't give up the puck if he was playing with a broken arm, a bad eye, and Ebola. Everyone else, is just ho humming the season until the playoffs. I do, however have to give credit to the younger players, such as Helm and Abdelkader, and the GR Griffins that are occasionally called up, like Mursak, Tatar, and Kindl. These guys are playing their asses off and why? Because they want a spot on the team on a more permanent basis. Sure Helm and Abdelkader are safe enough with their spots, but if they slack off, they will find themselves on the bus back to Grand Rapids in a hurry. And they know it.

Now the rest of the team needs to take a lesson from the young guys and PLAY. Seriously.

2 by 2, 5, 3

The numbers in the title DO actually mean something:

2 by 2: The first 4 goals that the Wings scored last night came 48 and 13 second apart, respectively. Johan Franzen scored the first two, took a break in the second period and let Kris Draper and Niklas Kronwall score just to liven things up a bit, then finished off the game and the Senators with a natural hat trick.

5: Johan Franzen scored 5 goalsHe also became the first Red Wing in 15 years to score 5 in a game. Sergei Fedorov did it in 96 and some guy named Howe did it in 44. That would be Syd Howe, by the way, not Gordie, who, interestingly enough, never had a 5 goal game. Syd, on the other hand, is the only Red Wing to ever score 6 goals in one game, which he managed to pull off in the same game as when he scored 5. So he actually gets credit for a 5 goal game AND a 6 goal game, even though it was the same game where he scored 6, because 5 comes before 6. Got it? Right, good. It should also be noted that while this is Franzen's fourth hat trick, it is his FIRST regular season hat trick.

3: 3 Red Wings have scored 5 goals in a game. Have you not been reading? Why do I have to explain this again?

The 5 goals that the Senators scored sure don't look good on Jimmy Howard's stat sheet, but I am sure he doesn't care as long as he gets the "W", right? I mean, I wouldn't...

Yeah...So?

Ok, so I haven't blogged in a while. Big deal, I am having a shitty year.

Oh and my very good friend Johnny Long actually facebooked me to ask me what I was watching.

When hockey was on.

Seriously...He has now been demoted to "acquaintance". And no, I couldn't care less if I spelled that right.

The All Star Games are over (Thank God), and now we can get back to playing hockey again. The Red Wings have 34 games to go...I think they played 48...I'll have to check Triple Deke's blog, hes one of those anal retentive OCD guys who numbers the games on his blog.

What? Everyone does that except me?

Oh....

Well anyways, the Wings better clear the disabled list and get busy if they want home ice.

Here We Go Again...

FIRST and foremost: The picture to the right is NOT actual. Johan Franzen is not (currently) injured. BUT: We have now come to the part of the season where the Grand Rapids Griffins start renting apartments near the Joe. Which means two things are about to happen:

1. The Red Wings are about to start playing inspired hockey, because all the kids that are playing now are trying to earn a permanent spot on the roster. It will not be enough, but the Wings will stagger along at just over .500 and manage to maintain their spot in the standings, to the bewilderment of opposing teams. Unlike the Penguins, who recently lost Sidney Crosby, and have not won a game since. God help the Caps if Ovechkin goes down.

2. The Griffins are going to miss the playoffs. Again. Because all the really good players are wearing the Winged Wheel. Oh, and by the way, some 15 year old from the local Little Ceasars Travel team will be in net for the Griffins, because Joey McDonald and Jordan Pearce are probably both called up now that Jimmy Howard AND Chris Osgood are out. AND, by the time everyone is healhty, all of the Griffins that were called up will be injured, which is why the Griffins will miss the playoffs.

So is half the roster: Datsyuk, Howard, Osgood, Stuart, Modano, Cleary, and Holmstrom. Who are out for a combined 7,457 games. Do we HAVE to do this every...single...season? And right before the All Star Game too...oh wait, nobody cares about that game anymore. Can anyone tell me what day the All Star game is without looking it up? Yeah, didn't think so. Because you no longer care. The Outdoor Classic has more than eclipsed the All Star game. In fact, the ONLY thing the NHL could do to screw up the Outdoor Classis is have the All Star game outside. Great...I hope Gary Bettman skips my blog today, I can just see the light bulb coming on above his tiny little bald head.

In any case...going to be some challenging times for us Wings fans...

Hey, Coach

Hey Mike, how about giving old Jimmah a break and start Ozzie? He's relaxed, and the pressure to win is off his back...Looked pretty good in the Philly game too...

I got nothing else today.