On Flying, for Tyler

OK. We all know that flying can be stressful. You get into a metal tube with 200 (or more) other people, you have no control over anything except your drink selection, and you have to trust a pair of pilots that you never met before to fly you safely to your destination. A lot of you out there are slightly apprehensive about this. Others are scared, their palms sweat, they close their window and tough it out. Still others, and this is where Tyler comes in, are absolutely petrified. So, Tyler of The Triple Deke, here is your long awaited post about flying.

What, you may ask, makes moi such an expert? Well here's my flying resume: Close to 4000 hours in Naval aircraft as a crewman (that means not a pilot), flying in aircraft that rolled off of Lockheed Martin's assembly line anywhere from 1986 (new plane smell) to 1968. That would be the P-3 Orion (right). A four engine turboprop aircraft that some consider to be one of the most reliable planes around. We flew them after Soviet submarines in the Cold War and against the Taliban in Afghanistan. This includes a few hours here and there in helicopters (which, mathematically, aren't even supposed to fly) and the venerable S-3 Viking (not pictured). For those of you who cant wrap your mind around "4000 hours", it roughly translates into 166 days in the air. Or, with an average flight time of 4.5 hours, I climbed into an airplane about 800 times, and I didn't even die once. Here's why Tyler shouldn't be scared:

1. Your chances of dying in an airplane are astronomical. In fact, you have a better chance of dying on an airplane from non-crash related complications, such as heart attack or choking to death. In 2009, 45 people died in aircraft related deaths in the USA. There were roughly 9 million flights. NINE MILLION. You have a better chance to win the lottery. I used 2009 because there were NO deaths in the surrounding years. Note: These statistics are for airlines, not climbing into a 1944 vintage WWII warplane with your blind drunk Great Uncle Rory.

2. Airplanes are tough. I mean really tough. That bumping around you feel is nothing for an airplane. As we have seen in war and some in flight accidents, aircraft can take a HIDEOUS amount of punishment and keep flying. I mean, this is really hard to explain, so lets go to the pictures:

As you can see, in the first picture, half of the roof peeled off. This is Aloha Airlines flight 243. The plane obviously was in a considerable amount of distress, but as you can also plainly see, its sitting on its landing gear, which means it landed safely. There was one unfortunate fatality of the flight attendant, who was standing at the time and blown out of the aircraft (Not sucked out, as the news reported. The plane wasn't in SPACE for Christ's sake). This is why you keep your seat belt on. Always. ALWAYS. In the second picture, the airplane is missing an entire engine. It's gone. Fell off. Not powering the aircraft. Judging from the distance to the ground, the airliner is significantly north of 20,000 feet. The sky and ground are in their rightful positions. The only thing wrong with the picture is that the engine fell off, lending evidence that it is much more dangerous on the ground, what with 10 ton aircraft engines suddenly falling out of the sky at 600 miles per hour. People in the plane: Alive. People hit with aircraft engine on ground: Paste. The B-52 on the upper right lost the entire tail and still landed. Of course those are highly trained military pilots. The airlines get these pilots when they get out of the Air Force, Navy, etc. Hence pilots are highly trained.

3. Pilots are highly trained individuals. At this time in history, the vast majority of commercial airline pilots have spent time doing things with airplanes that would make most people attempt to curl up in the fetal position (tough to do with the seat belt on) and cry like a little girl. Like pull 10 G's(10 times the force of gravity). Or dodge an surface to air missile. Or perform a combat approach into an airfield surrounded by pissed off people with guns trying to kill them. This can only be experienced in Chicago in the US. This involves getting to the ground as fast as possible without crashing the plane. I have done several of these in the P-3. Starting at 28,000 feet, the pilot pitches the aircraft forward and plunges towards the ground at the maximum safe speed of the aircraft. That means the fastest the plane can fly without coming apart. Then you level out, chop the power to slow down, and (hopefully) get to the end of the runway and be slow enough to land safely. Pilots do not do this in airliners. Except, as I mentioned, when on approach to any airport in the Chicago area.

4. Turbulence is just air. While smaller planes are subject to damage in heavy turbulence, airliners have to go through some pretty hefty stuff to sustain damage. Pilots do not like turbulence either, and at the first sign of it will be pestering the air traffic controllers for another altitude to fly at to reduce the bumps. There are scientific aircraft that fly into hurricanes and typhoons to study air currents. The only special modifications are to the inside of the plane and that is to the electronics. The turbulence you feel when you start shaking around is less than 2 G's. Most aircraft can handle a lot more than that. When you see the wings moving up and down, it is acting as a shock absorber for the rest of the plane. The 787 Dreamliner wings are designed to have a total travel of over 20 feet. Note that the plane that ditched in the Hudson River retained its wings even though the plane, for all purposes, crashed. The force of the ditching ripped one engine completely off the wing, but the wing stayed on.

5. The Lamestream  Mainstream media. When a plane crashes, the media shows it over and over for weeks. They do NOT show the other 8,999,999 flights landing safely. In contrast, if the news reported on every single automobile wreck, you would need ten channels showing accidents non stop 24/7/365 without commercials to fit them all in. The news doesn't report car accidents unless its a 200 car pileup, something weird, or NASCAR. They show plane crashes because they are rare, but they want you to believe that planes simply fall from the sky for no reason. Trust me, there is a reason every time.

SO, Tyler, as you can see, there is really no reason to fear flying. In addition to the aforementioned 800 or so flights I have been on, there have been probably 100 civilian airliner flights. Still alive. I have personally been on an airplane in the following in-flight situations: Struck by lighting, anti-aircraft fire, severe turbulence, multiple bird strikes, engine fires, engine explosion, on board fire, rapid decompression, hit by lava (seriously), sudden loss of all power, and smoke filled cabin. Still alive. The hit by lava incident happened in the Philippines, when my crew assisted in the evacuation of people from the eruption of Mt. Pinatubo. Also the scene of several lightning strikes to the aircraft and severe turbulence. The plane looked like it had been machine gunned when we finally parked it, and it took months to fix.

But it still flew.