Bertuzzi, Revisited.

The Red Wings win their fifth straight on the stick of...Todd Bertuzzi? Yeah that's right. The big power forward looked more like a light finesse player in the shoot out tonight, as he dazzled the Coyotes goalie with a spin move and backhand to the top shelf. (Don't be breaking out the plans to remake The Cutting Edge just yet though, at least not until he pulls off a triple Lutz while still keeping the puck moving forward in a legal manner.) It was the only goal scored in the shootout and the only one the Red Wings needed for a good end to a quick road trip. The Wings needed a good end because they are currently playing .500 hockey on the road, suffering 13 of their 16 losses on the road. In the next four days, Columbus and St. Louis come to the Joe to visit, and hopefully the Wings will extend their franchise record 15 game home win streak to 17.

Then it's back on the road, swinging through Canada, at the Habs, Flames, Canucks, Oil, and ending up in sunny Phoenix again. This road trip should be better than the last time the Wings swooped through the Great White North, when they dropped games to the Flames and Canucks.

These last two points are probably all that is keeping Mike Babcock sane right now, as they were the points that put the Wings on top of the NHL. How does a team play .500 ball on the road and still lead the NHL?? Even more perplexing is how do you go 0-5 on the power play and still have to resort to the shootout to win? Especially at Phoenix, where the Red Wings practically enjoy home ice advantage? Somebody also needs to check that net for regulation sized posts, too. I think the Wings hit the goalpost about 5 times, including a play where Filppula shot, hit the post and the puck rebounds right to Bertuzzi, who promptly hit the other one. Zetterberg hit it at least twice. If the bounces were to go Detroit's way, that game is 7-2 at the end rather than OT and a shootout.

Oh, and by the way, the Wings have a few other things going for them. Like a +45 goal differential, second only to Bostons staggering +71. For a while, the Bruins were putting up football scores, including a 5 game run where they scored 5 or more in each game. But they are not at the top of the NHL now are they? How about a goalie with a .926 save percentage and a 1.98 goals against average? Jimmy Howard is putting up Veznia-like numbers, and he's only getting better. He's got 101 wins over the past three seasons, and his third season is just barely halfway through. Howard is on pace to win 44 games this season, not far from the record of 48. How about having only two regular starters on the "minus" side of the plus/minus rating? Holmstrom and Kronwall are both -1. Everyone else is in the plus, some by over 20. One of those players is a certain power forward named Todd Bertuzzi, at +21.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

FOR Kenny: The Rangers lost to the Crosby-less, Staal-less, flight-less Penguins 4-1. Really? The Penguins? Super. A team that is 3 points above the cut and playing with most of their AHL affiliate in Penguins sweaters. The Rangers didn't even get a shot on net until 9:35 in the first, but it was the third period that killed them. It looked like the Macy's thanksgiving parade to the penalty box, including a 10 minute misconduct. Even though there were 32 combined penalty minutes in the game, each team only got two power plays each. Oh, and Michael Del Zotto needs to climb up to the jumbotron and retrieve his garters, which were deposited there when Malkin scorched his ass one-on-one midway through the third. Even the fight was lame. I mean, Stu Bickel and Eric Tangradi? I thought it would be pretty good, two big guys going at it. After Bickel threw a couple haymakers, they resorted to hugging and doing the 16 year old prom dance shuffle, probably discussing where the next Wilson-Phillips concert was going to be held. SO, the Rangers spend exactly three days on top of the NHL, only to be overtaken.

By the Detroit Red Wings.

Bert, Fils, Mule, Dats...Offense

Despite the fact that he is hated everywhere he goes, Todd Bertuzzi may just be the next big thing in power forwards. He has never posted more than 45 points for the Wings, but haven't we all seen the 35-36 year old player all of a sudden find their groove and start producing? This is where Todd Bertuzzi is now. He is definitely capable of throwing up 60 points if he keeps playing like this. If you remember, he put 97 points on the board for Vancouver in 2002-03. Now I know what you all are thinking, but look at the stats: In the first 20 games this year, Bert scored ONE (1) goal. That's it. He couldn't have scored even if he picked up the puck and slam dunked it a-la Shaq. Which of course is illegal and ... well never mind. In fact, he only even had 6 assists, for a total of 7 points. HOWEVER, in his last 17 games, he has nearly doubled his production, including a 5 game points streak. If the Wings can get Bert to peak right as the playoff start, it will be a very good thing.

Valteri Filppula has 37 points. That puts him above headliners such as Marleau, Iginla, Thornton, and Ovechkin. Yes, THAT Ovechkin. He actually has more goals than Pavel Datsyuk. Hard to believe, but again, the Wings need players like this to come out of nowhere and make other teams wonder why they didn't take him earlier in the draft. Probably because they didn't want to embarrass themselves by butchering his name, like every announcer since he started playing. We all know that Kenny Holland doesn't give a crap about how your name sounds or how he will mispronounce it. He's drafted RUSSIANS for Christ's sake.

Johan Franzen also has 37 points. Which is expected of him. As long as he doesn't fall flat, he will continue to quietly pile up points like that kid that steals your candy but never eats it, just stashes it in his locker.

Which brings us to Pavel Datsyuk. This guy can play the game in a phone booth, and still put moves on people that would leave pieces of equipment on the ice like a yard sale. He is only 6 points out of the NHL scoring lead, and he hasn't played in all the games he could have. The really scary thing is that he might actually step it up as the season progresses. Scary for other teams, not the Wings, obviously. Hopefully he uses the all star break shake some of those nagging injuries that have been bothering him.

In all the Red Wings have 9 players with 20 points or more already, and it isn't even the all star break. The Wings plus/minus rating is fantastic. The worst is a minus-4, and there are only 4 player registering a "minus". The great thing about that is two of those players are Fabian Brunnstrom and Brendan Smith (don't get me started on Smith...dammit) who have only played in a few games. Granted, more than half the season is over, but numbers should start making moves soon, either up or down. Wouldn't it be great to see some third and fourth liners start making some noise? Comparatively speaking, that is, since Helm, Miller and Abdelkader are already in double digits for points. As fast as Helm is, he can be a real problem for other teams, especially on a long stretch pass or a race to the puck.

Oh, and did you see that game today?? Holy shit I thought I was hallucinating. It looked like Al Sobotka had a big hydraulic lift under the ice and was tilting it ever so slightly towards the Chicago end. The Hawks didn't even get a shot in the first 8 minutes, while the Wings had 10. The Hawks looked like they were lost in the dark and their flashlights were out. It was really fun to watch. Then the Wings relaxed a bit after 2 goals, and the Hawks found a stride for a while, and the game became more back and forth, with a few moments of brightness by the Hawks. During this time, and a little dominance in the third period by the Hawks and it was 2-2, with the equalizer coming in off Lidstrom's skate late in the third. And by "late" I actually mean "with 52 seconds left in the game". The Wings also stepped up the hitting game, doubling up the Hawks on hits, 30-15, including three separate instances when a Chicago player avoided a "Kronwalling" and thereby also avoided a lengthy stay in the local intensive care unit

In overtime, the Wings decided that they had seen enough and flipped the switch back to "ON". I think the only person from the Blackhawks to even touch the puck was the goaltender, as the Wings lit him up with 9 shots to the Hawks goose egg. Bert swatted an airborne puck into the net for the game winner, and everyone can relax.

Speaking of relaxing, can NBC PLEASE fire Eddie Olczyk? I mean, he used to play for Chicago, and when you're a commentator for anyone but the home team FOX affiliate, you need to remain unbiased. He cannot. Even though the Wings dominated the first like the Hawks were a mediocre JV squad, he had to pick at every little thing the Wings did wrong, while staying mute about Chicago's inability to, say, get a shot on net for the first 8 minutes, or the Hawks inability to clear their own zone for about 7 minutes. To hell with Eddie Olczyck, how the hell did he get on TV anyway? I would rather listen to Ben Stein read the Gulag Archipelago cover to cover in one sitting rather than listen to Olczyck rave about Chicago. Hopefully the rest of the Wings/Hawks matchups are on Fox Sports Detroit.

For Kenny: The Rangers blanked Toronto today to stay one point ahead of Vancouver for the League lead, and 3 points up on Boston for tops in the East. Sauer, Eminger, and Woywitcka (or however the fuck you spell that) are all on IR and not expected to return anytime soon. Sean Avery blew it and got sent down to Connecticut of the AHL. Something about "disciplinary reasons". Wait ... drama surrounding Sean Avery? Oh the huge manatee...

Bumps in the road...

So far, 2012 has been 50-50 for the not so streaky Red Wings. I know, nobody else would be bitching about splitting a road trip against Dallas, Toronto, Chicago, and the NY Islanders. Problem is, the Wings do great against the top teams, then flop against the cellar dwellers. Like the Islanders. I mean, they were LAST in the East until they beat the Red Wings, now they are second to last. Going further than that, maybe the Wings should reconsider their push to move to the East if they have to play the Islanders more than once a year. It is games like this that make fans want to gouge out their own eyes with a plastic spoon.

Seriously. 5-0-1 since the lockout? NO WINS against a team that has gone 147-173-44 since the lockout, made the playoffs ONCE since the lockout only to lose in the first round, and at the same time owns more first round draft picks than every team except Edmonton. The Wings have a record of 281-111-57 since the lockout. With more games played due to the playoffs. Which, in case you missed it, the Red Wings have participated in every single season for the past 20 seasons in a row, and 25 out of the last 27 seasons. I'm not sure what the lockout has to do with any of this...OH wait I see. It's a reporting trick to make you all think that the Islanders have something going here. Well, they don't. BEFORE the lockout they lost eight straight, and over the last 33 games the Wings are 23-10. BEFORE the lockout it was 23-5 Red Wings. You don't even want to start talking about goal differential. So, in reality, the Islanders still suck, they just suck less against the Red Wings lately.

So WHY do the Red Wings have issues with the Islanders? The NHL Historical Record says that the Red Wings vs the Islanders All Time record is 44-44-6. Well. No shit. Lets not forget that the Islanders DID win 4 Stanley Cups. In a row. AND that was when the Red Wings were the "Dead Things", and Steve Yzerman had not yet come to save them from permanent obscurity. So most of those Islanders wins were when the Wings couldn't buy a win, and every player was going bald. I think Mickey Redmond was still on the team, for Christ's sake.

So lets turn back to the present. Who's idea was it to start Ty Conklin back to back? One game doesn't make him hot, I mean, yeah, he beat the Blackhawks, but the Wings had some defense going. Last night they looked like a sieve. A broken one. Like those kind of sieves that you find in roadside ditches near abandoned trailer parks.

So can we as fans be happy that the Wings have won more Stanley Cups than any two other US teams combined? That they have made the playoffs for longer than some fans have been alive? That they have had winning seasons every year since 1991?

Hell no!

Red Wings fans are spoiled rotten. Loyal as hell, but spoiled. If ever a return to the "Dead Things" era becomes a reality (god forbid), there will be no jumping ship by the real fans. I was a fan in 86 when the Wings went 17-57-6 (that's not a typo), and I am still a fan today. We don't give a flying f*ck at a rolling donut about the Islanders problems. Maybe they will win the Stanley Cup again someday. Hell, maybe you will run into a really big, tall, fat Japanese guy with red hair too. Never know.

But can we please stop fooling around with these crappy teams? I mean, really.

For Ken: The Rangers are tops in the NHL with 58 points (27-9-4). You can now start asking yourself how they are going to blow it this year.